Your Rapture Invite Got Lost In The Mail

People dont like to be preached at – thats pretty much an established fact. So why do we still approach spirituality and talking about God like that? Just wondering really.
I havent known how to explain what God sounds like, though ive been asked repeatedly. Im autistic and struggle with communicating – its very rare for me to say anything I didnt script and practice first. When you hear small autistics repeating movie lines what theyre doing is scripting. If you channel your inner Bumblebee and respond with your own lines you can carry on a conversation.
For some of us, especially females, we eventually graduate to writing our own scripts. Its part of why I write – it helps me talk about my life in general. It is original and gives the illusion of spontanaity but it is just that, an illusion. If you go off script and ask something unexpected I will freeze. It may take weeks to formulate a response. In my defense its not always that im slow its often that the thoughts are too complicated to break down.
So its taken months to answer beyond my insistence it wasnt my subconscious theres a real voice and presence im hearing. Well you know what I mean.
When God talks its like every sound I hear, the buzz of a bee, hum of a dozen a/c units, the sound of cars miles away – plus everything i can see, every leaf every sand speck – even smells in the air and those weird wavy lines over something hot – it all shifts imperceptively, changes tone, moves – and altogether forms words as if a mouth is speaking. Ot can make me stop in my tracks and say what the fuck. It never stops being weird and overwhelming. I say I ignore God a lot but really im just toning out the world overall. Not actively listening so it becomes background noise.
On rare occasions, usually when im upset I cant ignore it because its like a text message that popped up in my brain. When God is upset the whole universe heaves.
I hope that made some kind of sense.

Published by SlabCityOracle

artist, lunatic, activist, minister, interpreter for God, mom...

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