This is probably a longshot but WordPress assures me I have no less than a dozen readers which surely puts me on the road to fame and fortune so worth a try. I cant pay my phone bill. Got a few bucks to spare? I promise regular updates. Hell ill send nudes if you want – I no longer have any shame im aware of and its hot af in he desert who is dressed anyways. https://paypal.me/pools/c/8B8FXVKpZD
Today someone ive only known on facebook offered me a rent free new start in life. In the 3 years since this saga began only one other person has offered me genuine help like that. My mother offered nothing. Naturalky I ugly cried, paused to get stoned with a mexican (were you expecting me to react with maturity? Ha. Shoutout to my neighbor Gonzo who has a knack for showing up with water or weed when im bawling) My mom has some idiotic belief CPS would actually pay for an inpatient rehab at tens of thousands of dollars a month. When asked after my son was taken my sisters almost tripped over themselves to say they’d take my son “but she cant live with me.”. They sealed my fate with that, you could almost hear the cha-ching over the workers heads. By the time Bryon had gotten out of prison I had been raped so many times it barely got a reaction and I had been beat by both men and police. I chose the devil I knew and the chance to regain strength to fight another day. I wouldnt go back and choose differently how could I – as far as I know I had no other options. When God started talking it didnt really matter if I was crazy. I was so pathetically grateful someone was on my side it didnt matter if it was real as long as it stayed. Then amazing things started happening. Then Bryon got clean.
When God told me to go to Slab City I was over confident and elated. We’re going to change the world I thought. This is it. Then it all came crashing down. I lost it all again with Bryon purposely making it happen. I couldnt understand why. Wasnt I supposed to save these people? No God answered sadly, you are the one who needs saving.
He was right, and they did. Im not even sure how. I am alone and my life is really hard and I have nothing but I now know I need nothing to change the world or help others. I am content with just being. I dont need to put on my oxygen mask before helping others we have no trouble breathing and it isnt necessary to love myself first or do anything really, I am enough. God’s love will be there to cover me when I cant. I can love and accept people and that alone will change the world in so many profound ways.
The world doesnt need to pity or save the slabbers it needs to understand their incredible resilience, generosity, and ingenuity. I constantly hear how people dont understand how someone can return to an abuser, or choose to be homeless but I get it. I get it and I choose all of us. This is where I belong. This is where you belong too if you ever find yourself with seemingly no options. You belong. You are enough. You are the result of the love of thousands that spanned across centuries, never a disorder or mistake. And im going to keep telling you that until you start believing it.
To do that ima need a phone though so please donate. All excess funds will be spent on hookers and booze, we’re not heathens. Kidding, there’s $7 pizzas in Calipat and the bus goes to the free slab on Thursdays. And no one has cups in the slabs really and my sister said she got me my own 48 hour thermos and I have a feeling it doesnt really matter if it is half full or half empty cuz it will runneth over with stolen canal water and unexpected blessings.
More on the subject later but ive already begun recording a podcast. Theres so many people I want you to meet.
To donate the link is here, thank you for listening and I sincerely mean that. https://paypal.me/pools/c/8B8FXVKpZD