Do you see the tiny spider? Thats a fly swatter its on, its that tiny. Look at its wee lil eyes and tiny mouth. Is it wringing its hands and making a sad face?
If you’re like me you’d then lean in, with a loud D’Awwww only to discover its 1/2 mm of pure aggression that can leap half a foot, straight at your face.
You might then simultaneously pee yourself while chucking your soda straight in the air so it rains down like a gift to all ants from heaven.
Which of course gives the spider time to blend perfectly in with your bedding so if you then limp to the canal and illegally fall in so you dont smell like piss all day its really no one’s business. They havent seen the horrors you’ve seen but I have.