Im uncomfortable in my own skin and feel like ive been in one place too long. I hate people knowing where i sleep. Im not overly fond of people. The infection in my hand led to me passing out for 2 days but seems a little better but I dont really care. Truth is ima hedonist. Truth is I was never a very good person. Then God started talking and…do you know what its like having someone nag you to help people 24/7? To hear all about the loveable qualities and prayers of everyone you meet? Even if they shit all over you? All the while your own prayers dont get answered? It sucks. I want desperately to hit the road but I promised 5 years to the slabs. To helping however I can. On the 24th its 1 year down. I miss my little boy so bad I wanna die but unemployment is taking forever on backdating my claim so no car or way out yet. Im so tired of stressing about food. Im so tired of stress.