Ignore how I look, sick and in pain. My friends neighbor has a horse and when I noticed John making horse noises I wondered if I could be a horse whisperer and tried to summon my inner equine. At parrot aviaries they have to get all the handlers to get the entire flock off me, I can get finches to land on my shoulder in my garden and for amusement at zoos in other states I tell them at the California sea lion enclosure “dude since we’re both from California we can say what’s up” and then I bark them into frantic displays. At home I get them charging the shore and run, since im not sure if I’m talking shit or making friends. Anyways thats how I got stuck sitting at a fence with my new stalker, Peaches, who was screaming so loud for me to come back I heard “she has never done that, what on earth did you do?” until I came back for a selfie. No use for this new skill whatsoever but when the great sea lion horse war of 2019 starts, you’ll know what happened.