Im falling apart

I have a guy here who really needs one if these. Hes working at the restaurant but they arent really making money yet so its mostly for room and board. Hes obviously in a lot of pain by the end of the day. It can be shipped to Mojos:

Amber Clyde 10100 Coachella Canal Rd, Niland, CA 92257i

If ypu get it please comment and let us know so we just get 1. His waist is 32″. Thank you so much.

A horse is a horse of course of course

At The Rabbit Hole with this dude, Jester. Im not sure what manner of ugly slab dog he is but im thinking horse. Heay be the biggest dog in the slabs. Hes a gentle giant though and is sweet and mostly gets along although hes very anxious and that can translate to aggression.

A lot of people saw/heard me threaten Pebblez. No regerts lol – im willing to do jail time. Shes going to die out here. She needs to do her program and get her head on straight.

Charlie intervened though. Says shes like a daughter to him and thats for life even if a kid is being a shit. I respect Charlie both as an elder and man so…I wont interfere with her return.

Im leeping the dog though. Even thougb hes the biggest pain ever. He needs a vet, training, and socializing. I actually think Pebblez is capable of so much more than she thinks so we’ll see what tbe future brings.

Just…thank you.

So I promised to do shots…and I did have a few drinks but IOU. You totally exceeded my expectations and I felt like the biggest badass we fed 30 people. Or thats what was on the list. Then I sat andlistened. So many havent eaten in 2+ days. We crossed out names and hugged people like D who immediately donated what theyd been given to someone who needs it more. And this guy Phillip. He is the most sincere guy ever. Sometimes he can say some violent stuff but mostly he just loves God. Who loves him back. I will get stupid drunk tomorrow tonight im waiting up with my new friend Filthy Fill (his slab name) while he waits for his burger courtesy of you fine folks. Thank you. You are my faith in humanity. https://www.paypal.me/AmberClyde

Fuck em if they cant take a joke

I showed God this meme earlier, it says “im not interested in eternal life ive seen enough.” Cuz im a brat and wanted to see how he’d react and… I guess I cant help but provoke the voices in my head or something.

I chuckled as I waited for a reaction but all I got was cold silence. When the booming whisper of a voice finally spoke again it sounded angry and distant. “Some might see that as a challenge… Oracle”

Then after several long moments of rigid silence while I realized my mistake and started stuttering apologies God convulsed in laughter.

When God laughs like that the sun and sky smile all day.

It almost makes up for the fact I pissed my only pants.

Be careful what you wish for…

Gilly, Heylel, and I are at Double Zs for Sunday dinner. I really need to eat before heading to The Rabbit Hole because you guys came through to the point of alcohol poisoning lol – i’ve got enough for a meal for 20+ people. Dont let that stop you from donating though…really how often can you give $5 and know it’ll make someone’s day and feed someone who really needs it. Ya’ll sure as hell my day, and probably the restaurant (a business thats always a struggle to get off the ground). I may have some shit luck at lofe but im beyond blessed in friends.

Chug a lug chug a lug

I ended up at Double Zs instead of the internet cafe since he stopped by and told me Tall Paul was helping him. The old guys arguing and making fun of each other gets hilarious and he said the magic words)”im making lunch” so here I sit drawing and listening. Double Z jokes that people say they look alike (they dont other than the gray hair and a sorta wiry build) so he’s going to start going by Small Paul. The other says something under his breath about not wanting to hear about his personal life and I hold back laughter.

Tall Paul built the church of beer and I complain about how the most donations i ever got was for hookers and booze and now I have neither food nor funds and am kinda worried. I did pay the phone bill but no data which limits my ability to make money even worse. He agreed people are ridiculous and I kept complaining about how just as soon as theres a restaurant likely to be willing to do food vouchers I have no way to fund it. “They’d probably buy me shots before food” I say “Too bad I dont drink.”

Now I have an idea. Worth a try. Everyone is too skinny. Summer took a huge toll this year. I dont drink much because i hate not being in control of myself. I dont really have inhibitions or impulse control to start with and am not kidding when I say I dont care what anyone thinks of me. Then theres the talking to God thing. Feeling free to repeat anything said is all bad in my experience. Im a happy friendly drunk but also down for any adventure and all that together spells humiliation. I hate hearing about how i was dancing on tables the next day. I cant dance and have bad balance – thats a story that never ends well.

But I know how you freaks think… at the end of the last post you were hoping id choose day drinking. Someone invited me to sunday supper though so im thinking of skipping the bar unless I can feed more people another way. Heres where you come in.

Heres my paypal https://www.paypal.me/AmberClyde and cashapp is $thedollasylum – I dont have venmo but the restaurant does so you can even send money to them directly. For every $5 received ill do a shot (and ill keep going and blogging for the duration, even if we get to slurred audio recording levels) and $4 will go to feed people who need it. Youll support the restaurant, hungry people, and my sense of humility in one fell swoop. Not sure if I hope this works, or not. Oh well ive had dumber ideas…probably.

Oh its great to get up in the morning but its nicer to lie in bed

I ended up sleeping a few hours but woke soon after the sun rose for the same reason most slabbers wake stupid early…the flies. I have to crawl under the mosquito net or 50 of them will pester until im up cussing. I cant sleep under the net or I roll around on it and pull it down. I hear a few shotgun shots in the distance and tell myself if other people are energetic enough to be shootimg at each other I can at least drag across the street for coffee.

I hear Lex from the pirates talking to his dog Kush and further away some guy saying “fer fucks sake piss already” to his dog…I hope…and get up and do my hair and makeup. I tell myself that is enough to distract from the fact ive been wearing the same clothes for days. The free slab has been empty lately.

I need to go to the internet cafe to charge my phone but am trying to decide what to do with the day, as if anything ever goes as planned. I think about all the cleaning and winter prep I need to do and am halfway to talking myself into it when I remember visiting the Rabbit Hole the night before. Fuck it, ill go to the bar instead. Not to drink – im broke and rarely drink anyways. Ill just find a corner to sit in and draw and paint. Kat is used to this and will be happy for a nap day. Im not a bar person but these arent really bars. Theyre part club part soup kitchen part information center. I am banned from the Handlebar and have been all summer, and I do miss that part of it. If youre now wonderimg why : one of the bartenders, Alaska, was friends with my abusive ex. My ex sold him our RV for $1. In exchange Alaska put me out at 2am, handing me over my abuser. That was terrifying. I see Alaska all over and am polite, friendly even, but thats just because the lowlife screaming he and his buddies do when I enter Handlebar us beneath me. A couple people have offered to intervene on my behalf but I said no thanks. I dont want to support any place that would do and support such a thing. Besides which no one would argue the place isnt completely unsanitary and where 95% of the sexual assaults in the slabs take place. So thanks but no thanks. Still im pretty stoked theres a place open now im allowed in. I live across the street from Redrum and next door to Flamingo but they wont open til the season starts. Another week or two i think. So I think ill go people watch. Ill ask people if they mind me blogging about them, if they dont ill introduce you all to the slabbers you dont run into on places like facebook.

Or ill day drink. Life is full of surprises.

Its A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

People say they want to hear more about the day to day in slab city so ill try, though i suspect im as weirdly boring here as in babylon. Btw slabbers have a lot of slang – babylon refers to the world outside the slabs. “Normal” sociey.

So I got up this morning…ok…at noon, after sleeping for almost 2 days. I had no food but se leftover beans id gotten at the pirates…who knows when…but wanted cereal. I filled a wagon with anything I didnt want stolen and went across the street to Bill’s Bike Shop to say hi to Charlie who I hadnt seen in a couple days and to see if Ann, who is new, wanted to go on the mooch with me. I told her I was gonna go door to door until I found someone with cereal. She didnt feel good though so I headed down the street to Double Zs. Hes an older guy and in need of surgery and was also not feeling good. I wondered briefly if covid was coming through again but we’re not real worried about it. We all got sick last year. He had cereal though and I hung around a few hours making sure he was ok and charging my phone.

By then it was gettimg close to dark 30 so I walked a couple doors over to say hi to Chris and see if he was going to The Range since its Saturday. There is open mic and live music somewhere in the slabs every night but everyone goes to the range. Anyways Chris has a car so after eating half his dinner we headed down, mostly cuz i wanted hot dogs. Yes I know, I eat a lot.

Tragically the food shed wasnt open, nor was Wranglers Roost across the street so we headed over to The Rabbit Hole, a new restaurant one of my fav people has started with a couple friends. It looks really good (So proud of you Gavin, seriously.) and even better… $1 hot dogs or grilled cheese. We hung out with Gilly and his dog Jupiter for awhile and ate. Jupiter is huge and very very aggressive. Slab dogs are treated with respect though and not tied or locked up all day so Gilly is doing his best to get Jupiter better socialized. We talked about there being gentler muzzle options now and I promised to look into it since though Gilly loves him like his own child hes pretty dangerous. He got into a fight with another dog and took his ear off recently. Funny enough though aggressive little Kat likes Jupiter and will lay next to him. Shes smaller than his head but that never stopped her before.

We dropped Gilly off at his trailer at the pirates and I got Chris to cook me yet more food lol, now im writing all this shit for you all. Gonna go home and paint then ill probably blink and it’ll be morning. I might have coffee with Gilly at the Internet Cafe if im still up.

To my 2 loyal readers … let me know if that didnt bore you off and if you actually want to hear about the mundane wandering and stuff.

We’re Not Just Sorry Looking

This will piss people off but if a post is emotionally charged I dont read the replies. If I did I wouldnt be able to help people the way I do. I would get judgemental, or too self-conscious. So I just do what I think is right and continue on my way. With my last post though too many people I might run into replied. Im not trying to be rude just avoid burnout. So in response to the multitude of people angry at Randy:

I will try to help anyone in Slab City, they just have to ask. I say try because I may not be able to but ill try really hard. If you can convince me you need a pony (and they’re cute af so it wont be difficult) then ill spend the next decade asking people if they have a spare pony. If I see someone truly in need, they dont have to ask. Im a minister and ive vowed to spend 5 years ministering to the people of the slabs. I dont preach or talk about God so I dont need a church or anything, mostly I feed people. Pizza is a great meal cuz its relatively healthy and doesnt spoil easily. I’d like to talk to and check on people like Randy regularly and pizza makes the fact im butting into their lives more tolerable. I wont go alone and will be safe. If anyone else reads what I wrote and does otherwise theyre an idiot and thats not my problem. If they want mental health help ill offer to go with them and be their support system but im not going make my help contingent on doing anything. God loves you. The end. Im their minister and we want everyone to be safe, well fed, and as much as possible, happy. I understand how if you were a victim of someone you wouldnt want them to get pizza, i know too well, but trying to block someone from anything good surely is worse than the original crime. You dont have to help but I wont let you get in the way. Besides it sounds like what you really need is to feel better yourself. Maybe you should get a pony…